from emma forrest’s stunning memoir your voice in my head, an excerpt where she asks a psychiatrist if the man who dumped her and broke her heart really meant it:
“Do you believe he meant it all the times he said we were going to be a family?
“I believe he believed everything he said to you.”
Then she shakes her head and says a very strange thing.
“It’s just a movie.”
“It’s not real. You don’t have to feel as hurt as you do. It was only a movie.”
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13:12-13, ESV)
GH puts his head in his hands.
To cheer him up, we go for his favourite thing - an aimless nighttime drive - and listen to ‘Postcards From Italy’ by Beirut and ‘One More Cup Of Coffee’ by Bob Dylan over and over again. We have to hit replay before the song ends. ‘You do that? I do that,’ says GH, as he holds one hand on my heart whilst he drives.Emma Forrest - Your Voice In My Head
“Are you mine?”
“Are you mine?”
No. I loved being yours. But now I’m mine, which is all I ever was, in the end."
— Emma Forrest, “Your Voice In My Head” (via inanoctopusgarden)
‘Losing you both was only the practice pain, wasn’t it? For my mum and dad …’He puts his finger on his lips, his elbow at his chest, not racked with cancer. ‘Yes.’‘And when that happens, this will seem like nothing.’He nods. ‘When it happens,’ he asks me, ‘what will get you through?’‘Friends who love me.’‘And if your friends weren’t there?’‘Music through headphones.’‘And if the music stopped?’‘A sermon by Rabbi Wolpe.’‘If there was no religion?’‘The mountains and the sky.’‘If you leave California?’‘Numbered streets to keep me walking.’‘If New York falls into the ocean?’Your voice in my head.
And then he does. And then it is."
— Your Voice in My Head - Emma Forrest (2011). (via besieging)
-Your Voice In My Head, Emma Forrest
“Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn’t, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.”
— Emma Forrest, Your Voice in My Head
— Emma Forrest (via emmaleejean)
“Colin is one of the most beautiful souls on the face of this planet,” she says. “You know, even beneath mental illness or alcoholism or homelessness, people still have their personalities. And even in his long-gone period of public acting out, there’s not a person who worked with him who doesn’t love him, because he is such a gentle, funny, humble eccentric. It took a long time, but my heart now feels full when I think of him. When you fall in love again—which I have—it’s funny the other things that come back in with that open-ness. You have this ghost chorus of the lovers who came before, but they’re benign now, they’re good spirits.”
Emma Forrest on Colin Farrel
Source: When Your Shrink Dies: Emma Forrest’s Therapy Memoir
By Maud Newton, May 2, 2011
(Quelle: The Awl)